Brian, a faithful volunteer on his church’s hospitality team, a committed monetary giver, and a cheerful and well-respected volunteer that had given more hours to the mission of the church than most, was being stonewalled by church leadership. The church’s lead pastor had taken exception to a couple of innocuous ministry suggestions made by Brian and was unable to see past the cordial disagreement that had cropped up. Because the pastor was unable to see past the conflict, it tainted his ability to pastor Brain well, that and the lead pastor was insecure of the respect Brian held in the congregation by years of faithful and selfless servanthood for the Lord. Within weeks, the lead pastor had pulled his board members in to the conflict and summarily dismissed Brian from all ministry in the church, with very little explanation why. Brian was now sitting out on the church’s stoop, broken under, deeply wounded, and left with nothing but questions.

 

Pastor Marsha, a young, single, full time children’s pastor at her church, was a firecracker for the Lord. Even though she was aware that she was being paid less than her male counter parts, she didn’t care because her commitment to the Lord and ministry was her passion and it was her joy to sacrifice for her Lord. Pastor Marsha had the sacrificial attitude of Christ in everything she did. The kids she ministered to, and their parents, loved the excellent ministry she brought each and every week. However, she was never really taken seriously as a pastor because she was young, female and had only recently graduated bible college. The senior pastor of the church appreciated Pastor Marsha’s passion and excellent work ethic, however, his board of deacons did not. They saw her as nothing more than a hired hand to babysit the kids, and had no desire to keep her long term on the pastoral staff, they even refused to call her “Pastor Marsha” publicly. After a few seasons at the church, the board began to pressure the lead pastor for a “change in staff structure,” despite the devastating results that a premature shake up, made in their flesh, would cause to the families of the church. Despite the lead pastor appreciating the excellent ministry Pastor Marsha brought to the life of the church, he did not have the courage to politically challenge his board. So, with little explanation Pastor Marsha was unceremoniously released from her ministry post, with virtually no compensation. Pastor Marsha was now sitting out on the church’s stoop, broken under, deeply wounded, and left with nothing but questions.

 

Although these are fictional case studies based on real life incidences, they are circumstances that happen every season by the hundreds of thousands in the modern church.  

 

So now what? What do Brian and Marsha do? What do you do if you find yourself kicked out onto the church stoop? Right here and right now let’s dispense with any idea of attacking, rebelling against, or vengefully bringing justice against your senior church leaders. That will only cause resentment and pain to grow in your heart, and even if all the justice that you desire was done to the senior leader who spiritually and emotionally abused you, it wouldn’t heal the wound left in your heart. Vengeance is the way of the world, not the way of Christ. When you’re kicked out onto the church stoop in a breaking under, you do the only thing you can do - you journey the next seasons path with the Lord.  After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town. 1 Samuel 20:41-42 NIV84. David had been faithful to the Lord in serving his king, and king Saul in his own insecurities had grow to hate David for his successes in light of his own kingship rejection by the Lord for his sin and disobedience. At this point in the conflict, Saul was so determined to kill David, he had to leave or else Saul would have succeeded in killing him. David had no choice to leave his leaders side, and neither did you. There is pain, confusion, and loss, but there is also hope. The most important thing you must do when you find yourself broken under on the church stoop is not to fight the church political battles because the Lord will eventually take care of those. You have to fight the spiritual battle of the soul first and always. Here is the key first battles of the mind and heart the Lord wants you to win over right after being kicked to the stoop of the church.

 

You’ve got a friend in me.

The first mental battle to fight against, are the thoughts that you are alone and that everyone has abandoned you and is against you. The leadership you just left may want you to feel that, and the devil certainly does, but the Lord doesn’t. You have friends who care for you and are on your side. They may be quiet or distant because they themselves are dealing with the very same spiritually abusive leadership as you did, but they are still there, and they care for you. Most importantly, if those friends are inaccessible like Johnathon was with David after their final meeting, you always have the Lord, forever. Jesus is always the most important person to have in your life. Now, if you are still in contact with your church friends, you must fight the temptation to use those friends as a vector of retribution by way of rumors and incitement to rebellion in others as you describe your pain to them. However, remember, if you find yourself kicked out onto the stoop of a church by a senior church leader(s), you are not alone in the Lord, ever.

 

You are still called.

David was anointed king. Saul’s rage and terrible treatment of David didn’t cancel out that calling. Only David could cancel out that calling by making un-Godly choices and walking in the ways of the world instead of walking with the Lord. The same for you. God’s dreams that He placed in your heart years or seasons ago, the spiritual gifts, calling, and anointing He placed on your life are still valid. Like David, it may take crossing a spiritual (or even physical) desert before you see them realized. But never forget that you are still loved, called, and gifted in the Lord, because God never cancels it on behalf of a spiritually abusive leader. Remember, God’s heart is turned to those abandoned on the church stoop and He will immediately start walking with you to heal your wounds – if you keep walking with Him.

 

The emotions that run through your heart right after being put out on the church stoop can be almost overwhelming, and often paralyzing. However, you can’t stay on the church stoop. Pick a direction and walk, and as you do keep your ears and heart tuned to the Lord, He will find you on the path and guide you through the next season to the next place the Lord has for you. You may feel lost, but the Lord knows exactly where you are because his heart is turned towards those who are thrown out on the church stoop.